The devil you know?

The Netherlands Antilles is being dismantled. After years of feeling bullied by Curaçao, the other islands have decided they want out and to have their own position within the kingdom. The negotiations are going on steadily and all parties are trying to get what’s best for them and for their islands.

Nonetheless, every time they grumble they are reminded that THEY chose for this process and that most of the money is being put up by The Netherlands.

Reading the news about how this whole process is going, I ask myself if they shouldn’t have stayed with the devil they knew.

Godspeed and welcome back.

I’ve been quite busy with work this past month, maybe as a way to keep myself busy and to try and forget. Well, it’s not working. How can you forget someone who’s loved you so dearly for so long. Someone who’s always been there for you?
One of the sad facts of life, is that children don’t appreciate what their parents are trying to teach them until we’re old and (hopefully) wise. Growing up, I remember all the fights with my grandmother. I remember being mad at her. Pressuring my poor mom into taking me to live with her, even if she could neither afford it nor had the space for me. I can’t but imagine how much my rejection must have hurt her. And even so, she took my back with open arms when it didn’t work out. I stayed there for another 5 years, before moving out, but never leaving her.
This lady, whose wings sheltered and protected me for 17 years, passed away. Yet she never left me. She’s in my heart and in all the wisdom she passed on to me.
Different people, teach us different things in life. Sometimes we don’t realise this until it’s too late to say thank you.
Say thank you to those around you who make a difference in your life. Don’t wait until it’s too late.
The closing lines from Garth Brooks’ song “If tomorrow never comes” says:

So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes.

I think that’s sound advice.

Choices and paths

Or should I call this just mid-life crisis?

All through my life, I’ve stated that I don’t regret any choice I made nor any path I took. And deep down I still believe that I shouldn’t regret choices I made. Those choices, and there repercussions made me the man I am today. We learn from every step we take and from every choice we make in life. I will apologize to people who got hurt in the process but I can’t honestly say that I regret the choice, only that (not so) innocent people got hurt in the process.

As I’m reaching the age at which I’m finally allowed to have a midlife crisis, I look back and ponder all the things I’m “missing” because of choices I made in the past.

When I go on social networking websites like hyves, LinkedIn, and face book and I see (old) friends and what they achieved and I ask myself why I didn’t make the same choices. The same is true vice-versa. People see what (little) I have achieved and say they would like it too, without pausing to think about the price I’ve had to and am still paying.

Before we go envying what others have, we should ask ourselves: “Do I want to pay the price they had to pay to get what they have?” I remember the wise words of my late grand-mother: “kada kas tin su krus” (every house has its cross to bear.)

I for one, will choose to have wandered my own path. On the path of life, only our starting point is pre-set. We make our own path by walking (Cantares, Antonio Machado)

If you think that the paths others take influence our own path, you’re quite right. But even then, it up to us, to choose how we react to these changes. Sometimes we choose the easiest road and forget that it’s not always the best road on the long run.

And yes, in the macro-vision of the world, we can’t always directly influence the overall picture of  our life. But I believe in the grassroots principle and in the butterfly effect, whatever we do on a small scale, will eventually influence the big picture. I feel compelled to believe it. Without that belief, life just wouldn’t be worth the effort.

So my dear reader, I challenge you. Go out there and think small in order to make a BIG influence. But think about more than just yourself, don’t forget that your lot is influenced by the lot of people around you.

And if life deals you lemons, you pretty damn better learn to make lemonade.

When it rains…

It frigging pours!!

Just imagine this:

• you start work 8:30
• it takes you
• 45 minutes to an hour to get to work.
• 30 minutes (at least) to wake up and ready

What do you think happens when you wake up at 8 am in the morning on a working day?

Well, I get up rush to the train station and get tickets in time for the 8:32 train… And the fucking is delayed. Not only was this train delayed, the next one too.

In the end, I end up rushing in 45 minutes after I was supposed to start working.

All because I didn’t hear any of my alarms go off.

Maybe I should just tape one of them to my forehead ;)

Today I just wanted to rant a bit.

Blogger Labels: tardy,delay,train,rush,work,station,wake

Think and choose

These past days, I’ve been trying to write an article about an issue that’s near to my heart. I’ve been trying to write about so called “Freedom of Speech” but without real success. During this process another I stumbled upon a question that has to be answered first.

Should it be freedom of speech or should it actually be freedom of thought?

As individual human beings are entitled to our private thoughts. It’s when we plan to share these thoughts with others that we have to stop and think about the influence these thoughts can have on them. The more influential we (think) we are, the greater our responsibility to stop and think before we speak. Think before we act.

Sometimes, when I read or listen to the rhetoric of politicians and other people who adjudicate themselves the right to speak for others, I ask myself if they ever pause to think about what they are communicating.

Populist and xenophobic rhetoric has always been part of human society. As individuals and as nations we are inherently self-centred. Even as a race we humans are self-centred.

It’s always:

• me against them
• we against them
• our kind against those people

We often times have gone as far as to say things like “If you’re not with us (me), you’re against us (me).”

What sets us apart from mere animals, is our ability to think through our actions. In the course of history, our darkest moments were when we willingly refrained to listen to that last vestige of humanity called decency. How can we expect the human race to survive when there is not a lot of humanity left?

The myth of Pandora’s box states that the only hope was left in the box. I think that the first two that flew out the window were decency and humanity

And when we willingly choose to act out on our thoughts, we must be decent enough to realise that we can and will be called upon them.

We live in time of reactionary, knee-jerk rhetoric that I find quite scary. Not only the fact that that our so-called spokespeople are spouting such things, but more so that so many people seem to agree with them. The fact that once again we as a society choose not to think through our acts.

As with Pandora’s box, there is still hope for humanity. The hope that as humans, we all will demand that all these so called spokespeople be called upon to stand for their unthoughtfulness. Let them be called upon their lack of basic decency, for willingly wanting to plunge us once again into our darkest and most shameful periods.

- an ye harm none, do what ye will -

Too much information?

If we are to believe everything we hear, computers are the best thing since man discovered how to make fire. And the internet is the best thing since sliced bread. But is this really so? Has humanity change for the better since the discovery of these powerful twosome?
As an IT-professional, I'm supposed to wax lyrical about how the IT really helped humanity. But it's not a view I blindly share.

The influence and the possibilities offered by the Internet can be equated to those of the printing press and moveable type. It allows for the interchange of ideas on a global scale. The accumulation and processing of huge amounts of information. But, just like books could be knowingly printed with false information, the internet can also be manipulated. In fact, the information available on the internet is constantly being edited, filtered or tampered with.

Through the centuries, we have learned to question and weigh all the information we find in print. But with the advent of this new method for mass dissemination, it seems like humanity is growing more and more gullible. It seems that we get fed the information so fast, that we are unable to process it, to weigh it on it’s value. All we have time for is to just consume the information. We take so much on face value and stop thinking. Unfortunately, this seems to be bleeding into other areas of our lives too.

The Internet is also reshaping the way we communicate. Nowadays, we can communicate faster then we have ever been able to. Making it far too easy for us to say things that we will surely regret later. A letter could always be put aside to be reread later before sending. While using our email programs, very few of us save an email as a draft and reread it before sending.

When used responsibly and thoughtfully, these new means of communication can be highly useful. We should just remember never to turn off our minds when we press that button to turn the computer on.

Just remember my dear reader:
There is no light without darkness and there is no up without down.

Presenting Cabubu

Today, I'm going to use this space to shamelessly plug the band of a good friend.

In my July 12th 2008 blog, I already posted about the band Cabubu. Now I have more news about this band. They will be having a series of performances in Rotterdam. If you are in the possibility, come and listen to them.

The different dates are:
24-01-09
Singer Sweat Shop, HGH
Hoogstraat 170 around the back
See website

13-02-09
Beukelsbrug cafe' [try-out]
Beukelsweg 9a
21:00

27-02-09
Café de Santekraam
Van Speykstr. 194
22:30

I’ll do my best to be there as much as I can.
See you all there.

Goodbye sweet grandma

We're born, we live, we love and we say our goodbyes. No matter how much we theorise the cycle of life, death is always a shock. Loosing someone we love is never easy.


Most people say that mother there's only one. They are wrong. When our parents couldn't, you stepped up to the plate and raised many of us as your own children.


On the 6th of January 2009 around 9am EST, the dreaded moment came. You went to be with your sons, daughter, brothers, sister and your beloved husband. We were left without our matriarch, a family without a leader. Your life was not in vain. You leave behind a big legacy. You and Tai had 13 children, 26 grandchildren, 33 great-grandchildren and 7 great-great grandchildren.


Many more mourn your passing. Many went to pay their last respects. I couldn't be there, but our goodbyes were already said, kisses already exchanged.


Dear mai Chola, a few days after your 84th birthday we said our goodbyes. We both knew it would be the last time we would ever meet. I'm really grateful we got our chance.

You might be gone. But you will never be forgotten.

Sense of life

These days, I've been thinking about the meaning (or lack thereof) of life.

When does life has meaning?
For some people it means being able to participate actively in day-to-day life.
For others it means leaving some kind of legacy behind.
Yet others, find it important to amass fame and fortune (and everything that goes with it.)

For me, I guess, it's about human interaction. To communicate with people around me. Not just words, but also opinions, ideas, feelings.

That brings me to the question: "When does life has no meaning to me?"
Does this mean that life has no meaning if I'm unable to communicate and interact with people around me?

I wish there were clear-cut answers for this. I'm a fighter by nature but sometimes, you get tired of fighting. It sometimes helps to take a breather and continue fighting.

But I can imagine that you could get pushed so far that you just give up.

Where is my limit? I haven't reached it. And by the goddes, I hope I never do.

So tell me reader? What is your meaning of life? What do YOU live for?

Three 8's and a wedding

Last Friday, my cousin Regina got married in Rijsbergen. Naturally, we had to be there. What an adventure. We don't have a car, so we rented one and drove a little more than an hour in pouring rain to get there. Thank goddes for sat-nav, we would have been lost without it.

The wedding itself was nice and BIG.. With neighbours and family members from all over the country in attendance. It sure was nice to be together for the second time in a year. This was the first time in ages we were together for a happy occurrence.

The wedding was a "farmers wedding." Big tent on the lawn, I mean BIG. Hundreds, if not thousands, litres of beer. And plenty of food.

The bride and groom were transported in a brand new white stretch limo. And the guests in a real horse tram.

I took nearly one hundred candid shots and put some of them on-line in my picasa album.

The party lasted till the early hours of the morning and took place very close to the Belgian border. This prompted us to camp out in stead of driving all the way home after tiring day.

The following morning, we got up around 6:30 am and were on our way to Antwerp by 8 am.

Invaded

Last night, I received a very unpleasant surprise when I arrived home from work.

It was a very heavy day, with lots of issues to resolve at the office. Imagine my surprise, when I arrive home, just to find the neighbours standing outside on the gallery and beckoning me to come stand with them.

Once there, they tell me that the police had been come around to their apartment that morning and asked them questions about me. After these questions, the police forced my door and gained entry to my apartment.

I just couldn't believe my ears! I told them to quit joking, since I've had a hard day and wasn't in the mood for such jokes. They just told me to check my door, since I've been left a note. Indeed, there was a note stuck on my door, stating that they gained entry and had changed my locks. The keys could be picked up at the local police station, across the street.

After getting my new set of keys, I got news tat they suspected I might have had illegal marijuana plants in my apartment. I was gob smacked! I was furious! I was hurt!

ME?
Contrary to my Internet persona, I'm a very private person. I have heavy drapes in my windows, so that no one can catch a glimpse of what's happening in my sanctuary. And once at home, I try not to be a bother to anyone.
Imagine the shame! The police talking to me neighbours as if I'm a big time criminal.
Imagine the shame! Having strangers walking through my space without me being there!

Today, I called the police and asked for clarification.
Their reasons to go in were:

• they couldn't see into my apartment,
• because I had my balcony door open, there was a lot of air rushing through the vents onto the gallery.
• I have a big old server in the room next to the gallery, and it seems it makes a lot of noise AND...
• I use a lot of electricity, much more than my neighbours. DUH!!! I run a server 24/7 and I have leave my PC on 24/7 also.

As if these weren't enough, it seems the city has my apartment on some kind of watch list.. Don't ask me why!

They might have been right with their check-list, but it sure as hell doesn't make it easier for me.

I feel violated, invaded... the peace and quiet and my sense of privacy has been lost. I sure hope to get it back.

And still, I wonder.... Why the hell am I on a watch list? And why the hell did they decide to investigate my apartment and not another one?

For now.. I'm physically ill with and still quite pissed off.
Needless to say: I don't have nor have ever had any marijuana plants!
Even my cactuses die. :)

(on)gehoord Rotterdam

This afternoon I attended "Ongehoord Rotterdam".
I was invited by a friend who is a member of the band Cabubu.

It was quite an interesting afternoon and I sure needed the time off.

If you have a chance to listen to Cabubu, be sure you do it.

Publicly private

Why throw my private life and thoughts in such a public arena? I'm and have always been a very private person. Why change now?

I guess it's out of fear. Fear of passing through this world without leaving as much as a rimple in the big pond of life.

So dear reader, if there is any out there, come back regularly and enjoy the ramblings of this lone wolf.