People with weak bladders shouldn’t travel by bus.

At least that’s the impression we got on the bus from the Netherlands to Germany. There was a toilet on board, but it seems they were hell-bent to keeping it clean.

 

Due to an operation as a child, I don’t always get advance warning when I need to “pass water.” So for me it’s important to have know where all the closest toilets are.

On a train, there’s always a chance of finding the toilet out of order, or flooded. But on a bus, they’re always nice, clean and OPEN. Not so last Monday.

I left home around noon so I could be on time for me bus leaving at a quarter past one. I walked past the toilets at The Hague Central station since I went at home and didn’t feel the need.

Once on board and in route to Amsterdam, still no need. In Amsterdam I know where they have the toilets, but still no need. And so we continue to Utrecht, by the time we get there it’s been three hours since I last visited the facilities, but still no need. Twenty minutes outside Utrecht, I feel the need and walk the few steps to the on-board cabin. Only to find the door locked. Not a disaster, I think, all I need to do is ask them politely to unlock the door.

I get a rant in a language I can not understand about why I didn’t go in Utrecht, too bad he doesn’t speak English or Dutch. As if I would know where the toilets are in Utrecht. Anyway the second driver is so kind as to open the door anyway for me. As soon as I finish, he inspects the cabin and locks it again.

Three hours later, I feel the need again. Not wanting to hear the driver rant again, I decide to wait till somebody else need to go. And yes, an hour later, a young guy needs to go and asks if they could open the door. He doesn't come back, but goes back to his seat. A quarter of a hour later, another guy needs to go, but is sent back to his seat too.

Some time later (my eyes are swimming by now), we arrive at the bus yard in Essen and I see the portable toilets outside. Do they think of stopping so some people can have a bathroom break? No way! As nobody is getting off and no one is waiting, they just press on to Dortmund.

 

Once in Dortmund, I can’t tell you how grateful I was for the American fast-food restaurant they have there. It was €0.50 well spent.

 

If the trip back home is a repeat performance, I will have to start taking the train. It would be a pity as I like the bus-ride otherwise.